Japanese families and relationships explained

Why does adoption of a muko youshi (future husband of a daughter adopted into a family with no sons) to become the heir still exist in Japan?

 

The male heir has to perform certain rites for the ancestors, it is difficult to change your name in Japan without going through adoption etc, and traditionally a household would only have one heir rather than being split between the children, but I don’t know if any of these are the main reasons why it still exists.

Why does o-fukuro (お袋- honorable bag) mean mother?

How did Japan change from a country where the mother-in-law bullies her sons wife to one where the bullying happens the other way round?

Why are the Japanese so obsessed with their kids being genki (energetic, lively)?

Thailand is quite similar. It could it be an inherent trust in the good nature of kids due to Buddhism having no concept of original sin, or an understanding that lots of energy (more than lots of original ideas) is what they are going to need in their future educational and working careers. Alternatively it could be because rebellion and mental health problems in Japanese tend to come out as being lethargic and withdrawn

Why are Japanese kids so well behaved?

Japanese mothers seem to control their kids with an absolutely expert use of the kind of emotional blackmail that a Western parent might feel embarrassed about, plus a good dollop of indulgence and other manipulations. The net total result is a kid who will feel so upset themselves at displeasing their parents (mainly the mother), that no other punishment is needed- a child that will often grow up into an adult with much the same mentality. Another reason you would rarely see temper tantrums etc. if you are not part of the family is that a Japanese child quickly learns that different behaviour is suitable for different circumstances, and there is no such thing as “acting naturally” or “being true to yourself”.

If there are so few children in Japan, why do you still see so many kids in the street?

For one thing, in Japan it is safe for them to go out. This and a general lack of a positive impression of the suburbs and the difficulty of moving due to 35 year mortgages and declining property values means that families do not often move out of the city when they have kids, unlike America or the UK. With younger kids, perhaps the biggest influence is a feeling that a child and mother should be as close as possible at all times and therefore a tendency to take the child everywhere (even room to room) when doing chores, rather than using an elder sibling or a babysitter.

Why is babysitting still so unusual in Japan?

Apart from a general desire to stay close to the child, the main reason is not being happy with letting strangers into the home- mainly due to embarrassment at what they might think about what they see and what they might tell other neighbours. This is shown by the fact that parents who can’t take their kids out often leave them at home alone rather than asking someone else to look after them.

Why are Japanese families so rude to each other?

Because they have to be so polite to everyone else, and being too polite in Japanese is just as offensive as not being polite enough. Because Japanese dads are a national joke and it doesn’t matter what you say to your dad because he doesn’t count. Because even if you do push your parents too far, if you just say sorry everything will be okay.

Why don’t Japanese children (especially men) leave home at a younger age?

Why do Japanese Dad’s get such a bad press?

Why do Japanese families spend so little time with their families?

Why do Japanese housewives complain about their husbands so much?

Why do couples who have been together for 40 years divorce when they retire?

Why are Western weddings so popular in Japan?

Traditional Japanese weddings have a connection with traditional Japanese marriage, which was more about duty than romance. It is therefore difficult for a Japanese person to see a Shinto wedding as romantic.

Why do some Japanese women quit their jobs when they get married, even before they get pregnant?

It’s partly a status thing, showing that your husband has a good enough job for you to quit and therefore you have made a catch. The fact that many women accept the low status jobs they still get offered in many Japanese companies because they know it is only until they get married means they are often in a real rush to quit. There may also be some pressure from the pressure, or at least an uncomfortable atmosphere, because Japanese companies are not used to having to pay maternity benefits etc. and so expect people to leave well before those matters come up.

Why are o mi ai arranged marriages, gokon dating parties and marriage agencies so popular in Japan?

Why do you so seldom see mixed groups of Japanese people?